In November of 2010 I had a sinus infection and thought I could tough
it out without medical intervention. I
wasn’t adverse to medical intervention but I like to let my body do as much of
the work as possible. When the body didn’t
seem to find an instant fix to this bout of the sniffles I decided to take some
over the counter meds. Large green gel
capsules! What my mom would have called
horse pills! Well, I swallowed them with
some water but it felt like they’d gotten lodged in my throat. More water.
Still there. More water. Finally after about 32 ounces I decided to
feel my throat for signs of the sideways pill that surely had to be sticking
out through my neck. I let my fingers do
the walking and guess what I found?? The
pill was stuck in my throat! My mind
raced as I tried to figure out what I would have to do to dislodge the damn
thing! Oh wait, I should probably tell
you that I have blonde moments, and this was one of them. The pill wasn’t stuck in my throat, but at
the moment that I realized this, I felt my heart sink. There was a protrusion but it wasn’t the
pill. It was a lump; a lump on one side
but not the other. It was a lump that
shouldn’t be there. A really big lump! It was the weekend and since I was not in a
life threatening situation, at least at that moment, I did what every hypochondriac
does in these situations: I Googled it!
Hello Web.MD! I safely surmised
that worst case scenario I had esophageal cancer and had less than three years
to live; but it was right there on the thyroid and therefore it could be one of
four different types of thyroid cancer and only one of those was really lethal… My mind
was running on way more than these sentences! Or… it could just be a cyst or something benign
but whatever it was, I wouldn’t know anything until I talked to my doctor.
My primary doctor saw me on Monday, sent me for a sonogram the next day
and sure enough, there it was, a big old lump perched on the right half of my
thyroid. We had it on our sites but I couldn’t get to
see a surgeon until January 5th, 2011.
In the interim I decided to reach out to someone that I didn’t know at
all, but had heard about through her husband, she had had thyroid cancer the
year before. She was truly sent from
God. Over the holidays when I had to
just sit and wait she was a beacon in the dark!
She didn’t know anything about me but met me in my need and comforted me
beyond belief. I am sure that madness
would have taken over my whole being if it had not been for her. So Lisa, if you are reading this, know that
you will forever be a part of me and my journey! Lisa and I have added a third member to our group, Susan; both of these amazing women inspire me everyday - I am so blessed and so very thankful for their continued support - just wish the common denominator would have been different - like the lottery or something :)
As I said before, this whole episode happened right at the beginning of
the holidays that year and so appointments that normally could have happened in
quick succession were spaced ridiculously far apart. I waited it out and finally I had my
appointment with the surgeon. He
examined the lump and reviewed the sonogram.
He thought about it and then he spoke!
This man minced no words, he wasted no time, and he said “How does
Monday sound to you?” I was sitting in
his office on Wednesday, January 5th and he liked the way Monday,
January 10th sounded; well, I did too! This man was on my page, let’s just get this
thing out and it will be over and done with.
He assured me that thyroid cancer, while treatable, was rare and he assured
me that I had less than a 10% chance of it actually being cancer. Sounds good to me. He told me that he would have pathology look
at it while I was still under to determine just what the cells contained. If it wasn’t cancer they would only take the
half with the lump and leave the rest. If it was
cancer they would take the whole thing and I would have to add another chapter
to the saga but really in the grand scheme of things this was the best bad case
scenario that I could hope for.
When I woke in recovery I saw my doctor walking toward me. I knew before I asked but I asked anyway “half
or whole?” “Whole” was his simple
reply. I closed my eyes and decided to
think about what that meant later.
Recovery was rough – like a bad hangover with a spectator section. My kids, the husband, brother, niece, nephew,
nephew’s wife, neighbor, several friends… you get the picture! They all came to see me puke. It’s funny now but at the time… Spent the night, left the next day with a
couple of scars and in dire need of a shower, that chapter was over.
At my follow up the next week the doctor told me what I had and what
was coming my way. I had papillary carcinoma. The best damn thyroid cancer a girl can
have! Praise be to God – no really, I
was lucky and very thankful!! They would
ablate what was left of my thyroid bed with T131, the stuff three-Mile Island
likes to protect us against, so that papillary carcinoma would be discouraged
from returning. Since I would be without
that little butterfly shaped gland forever and ever I would have to take
levothyroxine for the rest of my life but in the grand scheme of things I was
alive and I had the best kind of cancer – that was now out of me and in a dish
somewhere so what could I possibly have to worry about!
FATIGUE! That is what I had to
fear. Not the fatigue that you say you
have when you don’t want to run the mile in gym class. Not even the fatigue that I experienced as
the mother of a new born who nursed every two hours. This was fatigue on an epic scale! While I waited to have the Radio Active
Iodine (RAI) ablation I had to be come as hypothyroid as humanly possible and
then proceed to deplete my body of all iodine so that the T131 would hit its
target and nuke the hell out of any remaining thyroid cells. This took about six weeks and two very
expensive thyrogen shots. I literally
woke up feeling as though I hadn’t slept in days. I would go to work, come home, and go to
bed. I couldn’t exercise; hell, I could
barely walk to my car. I felt like the
walking dead – not the vampire, all strong and sexy kind of walking dead –
rather the zombie march, messed up face and hair kind of walking dead. Co-workers would walk up to me first thing in
the morning and ask “are you ok?” I
could see the worry in everyone’s faces but I didn’t have the energy to
care! I held onto the fact that after
the RAI I could start on the meds that would make me feel normal again! Focus on that and everything would be
ok. By June I would be back in fighting
form!
Not so fast… Turns out synthetic
hormones aren’t all they are cracked up to be!
I survived the low iodine diet and the RAI. Side
note: the RAI came with some pretty odd restrictions – for another post – but the
main one was that I had to be quarantined from all living creatures for 5 days –probably
the best part of the whole damn thing! After coming out of the comfy
basement I was on a mission to feel better!
Only trouble, I had a noble goal but lacked the ‘how to’! While my ‘want to’ kicked in I started
reading about how the thyroid works and what it does for the body – “too little
too late” my thyroid would probably say to me now… I started to read about how certain foods can
hamper our best efforts at being well.
The book that I started with was The
Thyroid Diet by Mary J. Shomon; a must read for anyone with any type of
thyroid issues at all! Since I no longer
had a thyroid I had different issues and basically realized that it was going to
be calories in vs calories out for me.
Good news in the grand scheme of things – math I can do!
The meds took hold and I was feeling like me again only better! As I made my way toward spring and summer my
friends gathered together to celebrate me – best night EVER!!! I
really am blessed with an amazing group of friends and family. Coworkers, I include in my ‘friends’ column,
and to all: I can’t begin to thank each of you enough for all of the meals and
well wishes!
I was me again only better, I felt like a twenty year old again! Over the course of the summer of 2011 I tried
to get back to my spinning class and to the gym but my energy levels very
quickly tanked again. I asked for blood
work and found nothing wrong. I was
fading again fast. With this came the
depression. How can I live like
this? So I did what I always do when
backed into a corner, I reason my way out.
This reason came by way of reading again… After carefully researching all possible
explanations, I was sure that I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. So I decided to try everything that was
suggested to help pull myself out of the pit again. I really don’t even remember what all I tried
to be honest, I only remember what worked for me. I started taking B1, B6, and
B12 vitamins. Within a week I
could see the light again! I still take
all three! I would like to mention that I discussed all of my supplement
additions with my endocrinologist before proceeding. I would highly recommend talking to your
family doctor or you endocrinologist before taking anything as everyone is
different but take a look at what the ills are and plan to do something about
them! Don’t just sit back and let it
take over who you are!
After starting the B vitamins I felt better and started to focus on my
diet. I was still afraid to exercise, believing
that adrenal fatigue had spiraled me into the pit the last time, but at least I
could function! I was ready to tackle
the weight that I had gained during my months of listlessness and deliciously ‘prepared-by-others’
meals. I was ready, except for the whole
boob thing… but that’s another post!
Peace,
L
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